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I need a title for my new story…?

Here is some.. It has been edited and I need a title, so HELP: “Oh, this doesn’t look good Rachael.” Her shocked face brought a smirk to my lips even though that’s how I felt inside. Shocked. And confused. But mostly shocked. What happened last night wasn’t sposed to happen. She needed to be with [...]

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so during the weekend i went to a party and the guy i like,Stephen just broke up with his girlfriend and hes single now and I’m friends with him so i drove i and my other friend Sean to the party and and i got cake on my face at the party after the cake [...]

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What do you think of the first paragraph of my story?

“Another drink please!” Mildred Allard said tapping his foot against the bar stool. Mildred looked around feeling adamant, waiting for his thirst quencher to arrive. The bartender swooped in through the flip door, and handed Mildered a glass of booze when he came in arms reach.”Thank you miss!” Mildred sipped a few from his glass [...]

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Is he embarassed or just a player?

Met a guy my friends knew while out with them. He flirted, said he wanted to hang out, he got my number, and I went to shake his hand instead of shake it he kissed it while looking right into my eyes. I went back to my group and ran into him later and asked [...]

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so during the weekend i went to a party and the guy i like,Stephen just broke up with his girlfriend and hes single now and I’m friends with him so i drove i and my other friend Sean to the party and and i got cake on my face at the party after the cake [...]

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Whats your opinion on my paragraph?

“Another drink please!” Mildred Allard said tapping his foot against the bar stool. Mildred looked around feeling adamant, waiting for his thirst quencher to arrive. The bartender swooped in through the flip door, and handed Mildered a glass of booze when he came in arms reach.”Thank you miss!” Mildred sipped a few from his glass [...]

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Do you want to get to know this guy?

. . they noticed him first, but then he was always the last to know he was there bobs and bangs, hips and lips, smooth sliding with each step, stalking fresh fodder… their quiet ignorance made him he made them Love him, manufactured each moment like this one, moving two bar stools nine and a [...]

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Does Darlene need a man?

. . they noticed him first, but then he was always the last to know, he was there bobs and bangs, hips and lips, smooth sliding with each step, stalking fresh fodder… their quiet ignorance made him he made them Love him, manufactured each moment like this one, moving two bar stools nine and a [...]

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What do you do at the bar?

I’ll sit at the bar On a high stool Pull a mirror from my bag Watch myself glide red lipstick Hold a pack of Camels Place one to my lips You’ll ask tender for matches But my hands says no thank you Light it myself One deep drag Blows near your face You smirk You [...]

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How’s the start of my story? Is it over-detailed?

It don’t have a clear idea of where I’m going with this I just know its going to be a romance. Here’s part of the first chapter of my story. I need an opinion? I feel as if its too detailed. I’m 14 (almost 15) BTW. It was a windy and gloomy Saturday afternoon. I [...]

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