Do you think that my inlaws know I am sick of them?
I am asking you if you think this one comment ( a moment of weakness on my end ) sent a message? My inlaws are here from out of the country. They are by our standards rude, lack tact and have made very passive aggressive comments to me about things here in the states.
1 complain at every meal out something isn’t too liking. Even if I am buying.
2.I drove the 500 miles up the coast only to be told they didn’t like the ride too long and too winding.
3 Comments to me like I dont know why anyone would get tattoo they look rediculous. I am inked.
Today I came in and really am an f*******ing tired of them. It’s southern california. It’s 80 degrees and they are acting like it’s a major heat wave. My ac is on full blast.. ( that is going to be a great electric bill.) We have a pool.. no tooo hot. My mother inlaw was in my way as I was cleaning the kitchen. blocking the hall with her bar stool. I finally asked her to "do you think you can move?"
In regards to the heat
my mother in law said she has just been miserable. She would never come back this time of the year.
It’s been too hot. I told her that 80 degrees forus is nothing, and she better not come Jan-May or June through December.. I laughed,.. nobody else did. This woman has been living ac for 2 weeks. and it’s too hot.
Tagged with: bar stool • forus • full blast • heat wave • ing • inlaws • major heat • moment of weakness • mother in law • pool • southern california • tact
Filed under: Your Community Center
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I think that question itself is not enough to make somebody know you are sick of them. However, that might depend on the tone of voice and the look on your face. Did you roll your eyes? I can picture the scenario and I imagine she got your point.
You had another question on here about your in-laws. They have been here too long; that question has already gone through the expired voting time.
Something about living with, traveling with, eating with, people you aren’t used to having around so much: it gets old Very Quickly.
I remember times like this when I wanted to scream. One time, my mother-in-law was just getting on my nerves and I saw that she had accidentally tracked mud onto my clean carpet. She apologized and I silently cleaned it up without really accepting her apology, acting all self-righteous the whole time. That was 34 years ago and I was 23 years old. She passed away 14 years ago, and was the best mother-in-law anybody could have had. I’ve often thought about that moment and wished I could live it again.
When our twins were born, and we had two older children, my parents came and stayed with us for a month to help take care of all of them. It was a wonderful, unselfish thing for them to do and we had lots of great times. But I was tired of them before they left, and became a little rude when my mother asked my husband if he really needed the TV on during dinner. I still wish I hadn’t acted like that towards her. She died last year at the age of 89, and her last few years were ruined by dementia… so I never really had that final conversation with her, except in my dreams.
I could go on & on. We have had many good times with our families, in 35 years of marriage, and I remember a lot of wonderful things that we said and did with one another, but I cringe when I remember those specific bad moments, when I wasn’t the person I should have been.
I have a feeling you are over the edge, and now you are looking for things to be upset about. These are unhappy people and you can’t make them happy, but you can change the way you think about this situation. When they have gone back to their country, you will want to know that you did your best to make their visit special. How they acted is their problem. How YOU act is your problem. I hope you will shake off the annoyance of their ignorance, and just do your best to get through this, for your husband’s sake.
Best regards to you.
Tell them to go home
I’m thinking they are from Germany where 80 degrees is considered a heat wave.
LOL! I partially biased in your favor because I’ve been subjected to the passive aggressive comments myself. Your comment made me feel butterflies inside. LOL!
It was a little rude, but sometimes you need to let people know where they stand.
My MIL called my home and pretended she didn’t know my name and then did it again a few weeks later…this time at a family dinner in front of everyone.
His sisters do the same thing too.
haha..way to go. you tell ‘em. there’s no need to work your butt off and not get any appreciation for it
Of course they know you are sick of them, in the same way that you know they are sick of you. You lack respect, empathy, and compassion. What’s to like about that? If you expect your marriage to last, you need to adjust your attitude. You may not like them, but don’t show it so hard.
How long are they here for?
Can you possibly just let their silly comments go for the sake of your spouse? Just laugh at them when they say stupid things – eventually they will stop, or leave.
Running the AC for a couple of weeks probably isn’t going to break the bank if you are well off enough to own a home that has a pool.
I’m sorry your in-laws are being rude, but even you admit that their rudeness is cultural, so try gritting your teeth and bearing it until they leave. It is hard to be a host for rude people but you will earn no points by being rude back to them.
Try putting the onus of their pleasure on them – as in, ask them what they would like to do. I’m guessing that you live on the west coast and drove them up the coastal highway in CA. It is a long drive, and for people not used to spending lots of time in a car it could be pretty horrible. I’ve driven it a few times and it can be a bit brutal – 500 miles is a long drive.
And don’t take the complaints about the meals personally – lots of people take a snide pleasure in finding something wrong with restaurant service.
Just try to focus on the fact that they don’t live close and count down the days until they leave.
Good luck.
I’m sure your remark along with body language and attitude probably has given the hint you may be tired of their visit! Rightfully so I might add. You’ve done all you can do to keep them happy and they just seem to thrive on the negative! Is it your fault about the weather (and really they don’t have a clue about CA. heat)?! In my opinonion your husband needs to intervene. Your feelings should be respected in your own home and this constant complaining isn’t fair to you. He needs to let them know he wont tolerate it anymore.Good luck, hope they are outta here soon!
I would discuss this with your husband. It might be a good idea to tell them that you have tried everything to make their stay enjoyable, and comfortable. However if they are really too hot, and not comfortable you will not be insulted if they cut their visit short. You wil both understand, and will not have any hard feeling. You are just sorry that the visit was so hard on them, though you did enjoy them.
They can believe what they want. If your sincere or not. That is their prerogative. And truthfully do you really care???